During my years as a hospice chaplain, I was constantly amazed at how surprised everyone was that they were dying. It didn’t matter how old or young someone was. It didn’t matter how much money someone had or didn’t have. It didn’t matter if someone had accomplished everything they wanted to or if they felt they had failed miserably, everyone was surprised they were dying and felt as if something had gone wrong. I believe this is in large part because we haven't very consciously walked through the many transitions in our lives that are the practice ground for the transition of dying.

Through my work in end-of-life care, I have come to see the pattern of life. In witnessing the process of dying, I have learned a great deal about the many transitions of our lives. Life itself is a series of transitions. It is a continual experience of birth, death and rebirth. Many of us have been taught not to look at or talk about the process of dying, although, in refusing to look at end of life, we also keep ourselves from understanding and using the creative power of life, which has as one of its parts, death. There is an understandable pattern in transition and change. When we consciously take a look at this pattern, we come to see that the end of something, whether it is a job, a relationship or even a life, is always a doorway, which opens into expanded awareness and love.

That is why I am so committed to exploring life from the perspective of death.  When we get familiar and even intimate with the idea that we will one day die, we gain a perspective about life that allows us to live full tilt.  Accepting and even embracing the idea that we are impermanent brings a freedom to live fully from our hearts and gives us the courage to risk everything for a full, unapologetic life.  Looking at the process of transition and the fact that everything changes will bring us peace of mind and presence of heart to live this life fully and with great joy.

Please don’t shut this down yet.

You may be thinking to yourself, I’m not looking at dying – that’s morbid. I understand the resistance to looking at dying when there is so much living to be done, but the truth is it is on our minds – perhaps not consciously, but it is there. It is the fear that runs all fear. Every time we get resistant to something, any time we become afraid of losing money or losing someone we love, any time we become controlling, we are in actuality experiencing the fear of dying.  

Dying doesn’t mean something has gone wrong.  It means that it is time to transform from this physical life into that which comes next. When we don’t get an outcome we desire, it doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means that it is time to transform our hearts and minds into a greater expression of who we are. Everyday we have the opportunity to die to an aspect of ourselves that no longer serves us. We often resist the changes of our lives and yet they are the magnificent opportunity to recognize the pattern of life and to more consciously participate in the unfolding of our own lives.

The most certain thing about this life is one day we will die.   It is how it is designed. I believe it is in our best interest to embrace it, become curious about it and use it to be present and fully alive. Won’t you please join me in exploring that which lies within?